


She’s Ours

by Wealthywetsunny



Series: Drunken Photography [3]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Betrayal, Drunk Sex, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Love, Traitor, Vaginal Sex, bliss, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-18 18:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wealthywetsunny/pseuds/Wealthywetsunny
Summary: Joseph can’t say he’s pleased when he finds out what his brothers had been doing behind his back. One thing’s for sure, he needs a word with the deputy. Lucky for him God has always been on his side and he finds himself with a disoriented lost deputy at his compound. What kind of Father would he be if he left his child alone and wanting?





	1. Chapter 1

She wasn’t drunk. She swore up and down, on her mother’s grave that she wasn’t drunk. Okay, maybe Dutch didn't believe her, with his concerned words coming through her radio like constant chatter that barely reached her ears with how she tuned him out. His voice made her cringe, the pounding headache she had was not being soothed with him practically yelling at her, urging her to come back to his bunker to stay the night. 

Begrudgingly she agreed, only to make him shut up. Promising to tell him all that was bothering her when he asked what made her drink so much recently. Because of course he knew about the time she spent with all her friends downing shots after Faith died. Then he knew about her drowning her sorrows in the cheap, definitely not name brand beer that the Rye’s supplied. And now this. 

This time around it wasn’t a celebratory drink or one that friends shared because it was a night spent indoors instead of running around and they finally had some down time. No, this was from the knowledge of sleeping with the enemy. Fraternizing she supposed her friends would call it. 

It made her sick to think that she would lose all credibility with the resistance. Peggies would mock her, suddenly she wouldn’t seem as scary to them. One moment and her reputation would be ruined. They couldn’t find out. The idea of the news going public terrified her. It turned her towards the comforting embrace of alcohol. The warmth that hit her veins was a welcome change from her long day, so she kept going until her vision blurred when she stood on uneasy legs. 

With her radio clipped on her belt and the promise to see Dutch, she used her map as best as she could to find his island from where she was at in the Henbane. 

The whole ‘wandering onto the barbed wire fenced in island’ was not planned for. It was a startling shock to look up and see the winding pathway and the huge white church where they tried to arrest Joseph. 

Her teeth were grinding together as she realized that she stood at the opened gate. No one was there, it was a ghost town. That should have been off putting, made her turn around because Joseph Seed was not a man to be fucked with. That’s what the Sheriff said right? 

Encouraged by the prospect of shelter that one of the houses could offer from the chill setting in, she crossed the threshold. She was too damn drunk to deal with turning around and retracing her steps to locate Dutch. Nope, wasn’t gonna happen. 

Her frazzled mind recognized the Latin words painted on the buildings. The cardinal sins. It wasn’t something she paid attention to the day of the arrest. She was too busy trying not to be jumped by some brave cultist who dared to pull Joseph from her grasp. Not to mention the rocks being pelted at them. Now though, she was peering into the windows, seeing if anyone was inside. Turning knobs to check which ones would open. 

Luxuria 

It loomed dauntingly overhead. It was the second door she checked, and the one that opened. The first house she tried, labeled ira, wrath if that 9th grade language class she took taught her right, had been locked. She was hoping to spend a night where John thought she rightfully belonged. It would’ve been ironic. The one marking her as lustful would have to do until she could see straight. 

—-

“I thought by now I didn’t need to stress what not to do with the deputy. You came to me John and I sat with you and prayed with you and gave you explicit instructions on what to do when you feel tempted.”

“Joseph—I tried, believe me.”

“You know you can come to me for help.”

“I didn’t want help. I didn’t feel like I needed it. Besides, you're the one who told me to let love in my life.”

“No, don’t twist my words around John. That wasn’t love.”

John scoffed, hand tightening on his phone. He called Jacob four times in the past ten minutes and his older brother ignored him. Each voicemail John left was filled with threats and curse words. 

Joseph called Jacob just as many times as John tried and had gotten a response back only once. It was filled with Jacob yelling over the receiver that he wasn’t John’s babysitter. Ignoring when Joseph asked if he knew of John’s sins and if he has indulged in his own. The lack of response was answer enough.

“Joseph I know you’re disappointed in me, when are you not?”

“Brother—“

“No! It’s always the same. It’s never gonna change. I don’t think you understand.”

“Make me understand John, please. Don’t let this break us apart.”

“She’s special Joseph. I can feel it. The same way you can feel that the collapse is coming. Jacob and I both know it, go see for yourself. It’s not a sin, this is the way it’s supposed to go.”

Joseph sent his brother on his way, he was a busy man and had places to be in Holland Valley. Baptisms, atonements, and confessions that required his attention. He told him that he’d still like a moment to talk later on but Joseph knew that John would actively avoid him until this thing died down and something bigger and more important caught his eye. 

This was beginning to get stressful, this wasn’t how he saw any of this going. He’s had people trying to expose what he’s doing ever since the beginning of Eden’s Gate, back when they only had a small tarp covering them with rickety chairs and thirty followers. Things were so simple back then, they weren’t hurting anyone, yet some people acted before they asked questions, surprised at what they’ve seen. And he did the same thing he did with the deputies. He sent each on to one of his siblings, it’s something he does for the worse of skeptics, the ones who were the most lost and needed special assistance. It’s never gone this wrong. Leading to the deaths of hundreds including his own sister. It especially never led to his brothers following their sins. 

He’d take his brother’s advice and see what he believed was so special about their deputy. 

For the next four days he waited, praying for guidance whenever he had a spare moment. Hoping for a time when he could catch the deputy on her own. He desperately wanted his brothers to be right, that she was different from the woman he first assumed was meant to destroy. 

It was at his church, one of those rare times where he sent his men on some other task where they were more needed than by his side, that’s when he heard the shuffling of feet as well as the banging of wood. Doors opening? 

He wasn’t afraid, someone might’ve come back, worried about him or they forgot something. Or perhaps it wasn’t a member of his flock at all, a wayward soul. It’s happened before and he was quick to open the church doors to help whoever was at in compound. 

“Deputy.” She paused at where she stood already halfway through the door. She turned, leaning heavily on the frame to keep her standing. 

“Joseph.” Her words were slurred, making him take a step forward out of concern. He saw how her eyes remained unfocused, glazed over. He’s seen it in the past. From his younger brother and countless members of Eden’s Gate who came to him for guidance. She needed him, and he couldn’t ask for a better opportunity to help her. 

“You’re looking for a place to stay, I’d gladly offer you my room, it’s the least I could do with all you’ve been through.”

She scoffed at his words, turning away from him and walking inside, not having the energy to tell him that there was no way she was going to waltz into his arms willingly.

“Let me help you.” He called after her when she disappeared inside, ignoring his words. He pushed the door open, closing it softly and locking it. If she ran off, than hopefully her drunken state would make her slower to unlock and throw open the door.

Joseph hovered for a second, alreadying imagining how she’d push him away. His hand thumbed at the bliss flower in the pocket of his jeans. 

He came up behind her when she stumbled over the corner of the rug, she slumped into him for half a second before she realized who it was. She squirmed until she regained her footing. “Don’t.”

The deputy leaned her palms on the table in the middle of the room, back facing him. 

He approached in measured steps. “Child, I don’t know what guilt weighs you down so heavily that you must seek solace in alcohol, I have an inkling of what it may be, but I’m not one to judge and I’m certainly not going to leave you alone when you’re so low. I know more that you understand right now, I can help.”

She hunched in on herself, shoulders gathered around her neck. 

Joseph came up behind her, hands on her upper arms, sliding up and down to warm her up. He took a few steps forward when she didn’t push him away. “I’m not here to startle you or harm you. You need to have some trust.”

“I trust people.”

“Yes, I’ve seen the relationship you have with your friends, it’s quite pure to be honest. Yet you haven’t extended that hand to me.” He wasn’t being specific, he didn’t want her to know how he saw her indulge in sin. But he knew that when it came to trust she only trusted his brothers enough to let her guard down around them. To let them see her like that, he couldn’t get those pictures of the deputy out of his mind. That video. My god, it drew him too close to the edge of temptation. 

It was late at night when the text from John came through. The group chat was rarely used, Joseph preferred calling people. He figured it had to be seen as important in the eyes of his little brother. He didn’t hesitate in looking at it from where he was lying in bed. It was late, he had almost been asleep before his phone dinged next to his ear. 

The picture sent was sinful. That much was obvious. From how she was tied to the enjoyment painted over her face from John’s touches. Joseph wasn’t feeling horrified as he should’ve been. It’d been too long, longer than he cared to admit, since he’s seen a woman naked. And now it was the deputy’s body he was admiring. 

Then the video came. She was a moaning mess, with sweat running down her temple and gathering at the creases of her skin. He was left painfully hard when the video cut off before he could hear her finish. His phone was tossed down at the foot of his bed. But the image was ingrained in his memory. It took all the self control he had to hold back. To stop himself from finding that release. 

Joseph closed their distance so their bodies were flush together. His arms wrapped around her waist, one snuck back to pull the bliss flower from his pocket. With a final steadying breath he rose it up towards her nose. “Let me place my Faith in you, love.” 

He felt her muscles go lax in his grip. The amount of bliss given wasn’t enough to change her perception of the world around her, he wanted her right here with him, aware of what he was doing. 

Joseph knew how the bliss worked, how easy it was to simply ask her to undress and she would do it. He sat back as she fumbled with buttons on her flannel and tossed off her jeans. His hands were shaking as he reached out to hold her waist. He’s done this before, has had sexual encounters. But this was nerve racking, it felt different then those few times.

He led her to lay down on the bed with knees bent and legs spread. He didn’t want this to be quick and easy, as far as he could tell his brothers didn’t worship the woman like she deserved. They did it for their own satisfaction. 

There was no resistance from her when he pulled her panties off. His breath came out as stuttering intakes that made his chest ache. He ran his finger up and down her slit, judging any reactions he got from her. When she gasped, legs twitching, is when he pulled away to replace the space with his tongue. He laid half bent with his head between her legs, deftly working her over. 

The flat of his tongue pressed down on her clit which made her keen, a sound that caused him to groan. The vibrations had her fingers curl in his hair, winding tight. 

He kept his fingers to himself despite the way she rocked her hips for more. “Patience.” His hands went to her hips, holding her down as he ate her out. 

Everything he did was slow, wanting to draw this out as much as possible before he pushed inside her. His teeth brushed lightly over her swollen nub and finally he dipped a finger inside her, curling up and searching until she cried out. 

“Joseph, I’m ready, please.” He hummed in acknowledgment, adding another finger. He pumped his fingers, twisting his wrist expertly. She squirmed despite the grip he had on her. She tugged at his hair, loosening his bun.

He pulled away, hot breath removed from her cunt. Another finger was pushed inside, stacking like a pyramid in her heat. He watched the way her slick coated his fingers as it moved in and out. One last sharp stroke of his tongue to her clit and he was more than ready to give her more. 

His lips left a blazing trail starting at her mound and moving up, tongue dipping into her navel. Open mouthed kisses ran up and between her breasts. His hands cupped either side of her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks as he sunk his teeth lightly on her nipple. Her legs wrapped around his slim frame, pulling him closer so she could feel the bulge tenting at the front of his jeans. 

“I’m not an envious man by any means, I’m beyond glad when my brothers break their bad luck streak and find happiness in the world,” he glanced up at her from where his cheek rested on her breast, sending a wink that made her groan, “But knowing my brothers got to experience what you could offer before I myself realized,” he rose his head to press a tentative kiss on her lips. “It makes me want to ravish you darling.”

He pulled away when she nipped at his lower lip. He allowed her hands to come between their bodies to fiddle with his buckle, her hands slipped twice, cursing when she couldn’t get it off fast enough. 

The pressure that released when she unzipped his jeans made him relax, jutting his hips forward to grind into her. 

He pried her legs away from him from where they caged him in. Reminding her of patience once again he climbed off the bed to finish the job. 

Joseph kicked off the restraining clothes, letting his cock spring free. Her eyes fluttered shut when he moved back between her legs. His hands rubbed at her thighs, slowly going back to lift her slightly, palming at her ass. With more strength than she thought he had, he flipped them so she was on top of him. He caught sight of her eyes, the bliss was coming out of her system, she should be able to handle this.

He held her suspended over his erection, fully in control despite being below her. In one hand he held his dick, stroking reverently before lining himself up with her entrance. 

It was everything Joseph had been missing for years. All that he remembered from the last time he had been with a woman. The warmth she emanated made him sigh. The tightness of how her walls clamped down onto him felt like he’d never break free, a prospect he was perfectly okay with. 

With him fully inside her and both them gasping, she was the first to move. A slight wiggle of her hips as he laid back with his eyes closed and mouth parted, tiny breaths panting out. 

Her hands covered his own where they stayed on her waist. “Let me lead Joseph.”

“You shouldn’t have to, you deserve to be worshipped.” 

She leaned down to kiss him, making him grunt in surprise. The deputy sucked his neck, feeling the pounding of his pulse beneath her lips. “Let me give something to the man who never receives anything.” She pushed up, hands wandering over his chest. With a knowing grin she grinded down. “So concerned with everyone else. Always giving. Everyday you are the one who takes care of people, I don’t care if your title is Father, if that’s what you feel you must do for your children. You need someone to treat you.”

Ever so slightly she lifted up on her knees and dropped. It was only half an inch but it had Joseph gasping. As she picked up speed he left claw marks on her hip bones. Tiny red scratches that covered up the bruises his brothers made.

Soon she was bouncing fully, groaning just as he was, making the bed squeak under them to the point of concern. 

She brought her hand down to rub between her folds, not being gentle, wanting some kind of release. Joseph grabbed her wrist, stopping her movements and making her growl. “You look heavenly.”

She huffed a laugh. “You stopped my orgasm to give me a compliment?” His head was thrown back when she pulled up, only leaving the tip in and squeezing her cunt around him. 

“Well,” his voice was strained, trying to gain some composure. “I didn’t want you to finish yourself off just yet. Not when I had that view.” 

“Wanna preserve the moment?” She dropped down, making him cry out with a loud “My God!” She leaned over to grab his phone from the bedside table and tossed it to him. 

His eyes opened again, watching her as she bounced enthusiastically. He fiddled with the lock screen before he could aim the camera at her. The phone was dropped abruptly after the small snap sound resonated through the room, as she clenched around him, unreasonably tighter as she came. Her whines made him jerk up into her, cumming right after her. 

His eyes cracked open to take in the sight he was graced with. “I’ve been blessed it seems. John was right. You’re here for my brothers and I, you’re our missing link, you’ll mend our broken parts and accept all of us.”

He was hesitant to pull out, knowing his fluids would spill out onto the sheets. His breathing slowed and he let his eyes drop shut. 

“Joseph?”

“Hm?”

“You look happy, relaxed. It’s a nice change.” The made him chuckle, he patted her thigh, indicating she could move.

“That’s all because of you.”

She flopped onto the bed when he rushed to grab a washcloth. She laid out for him as he wiped her down. Washing the sweat from her brow, between the mountains of her breasts then between her legs. 

Joseph held her in his arms, making her face him when he pulled her to his chest. They laid on their side, so close they were sharing the same breaths. 

She drifted off first, letting him watch the rise and fall of her chest and the curves of her hips. 

At the last second he sent that picture he took in the group chat, a single message below reading, “She’s ours.”

—  
John

‘Oh yea, that’s my brother’

‘Didn’t think you’d actually go through with it!’

‘When was the last time you even got laid Joey?’

‘Oh and does this mean you aren’t disappointed in me anymore? Because if you think about it I indirectly set you up’

‘I expect a thank you the next time we see each other’

‘Or a gift. I need more vests, expensive vests, keep that in mind’

—  
Jacob 

‘Ours? Should that worry me, John isn’t the best at sharing you know…’

‘Makes me wonder what you and John talked about at the church’

‘Huh’

‘Maybe I should come out of hiding then. Where you at Joe?’


	2. Chapter 2

“No one’s heard from you in a while.”

She shrugged, finger tracing the deep scratches in the wood of the bar in the Spread Eagle. “Been busy.”

“Yeah.” Mary May laughed, it sounded too forced. “Personal business? Cause news for the resistance has come to a stand still.” 

The deputy tried to meet the her gaze, failed when it was too inquisitive, afraid that she’d see her dirty secrets and let her eyes slip to the door. It was early morning, barely 9 o’clock. She felt like she was betraying them all, sneaking behind her friend’s back and cringing whenever they made awful jokes about the Seeds. On days like that she stayed quiet. No way she’d be able to engage in their playful banter after what she’s done with them. 

“I’ve got a job for you if you feel up to it.”

Of course. Mary May wasn’t concerned about her, she was wondering why their favorite walking weapon had gone silent. 

“Mhm, go ‘head.” 

She leaned forward, forearms braced on the bar, rag in hand from when she was cleaning the kegs. “We hacked into John’s radio signal, figured out where he’s at, sounds like big brothers are there too. Don’t know what they’re doing, sounds like it’s top secret, or hell, maybe they’re just spending time together, they’re normal in that sense, they’ve got those human urges to socialize like the rest of us right?”

The thoughts that came to mind when the she said urges had the deputy’s cheeks tint pink, she felt her ears glowing red. “Sure.”

“We all think it’s worth your time. You’ve taken Faith out, but she can be replaced, they’re probably already holding casting calls for that girl. You need to take the head off the snake. So even if you can’t get Jacob and John, this whole thing will lose a lot of momentum if Joseph’s gone. I say head over there, they’re at the bridge near Rae-Rae’s farm.”

She said it was so much finality, like the deputy had readily agreed. Approaching this like she did every project thrown her way. With a gung-ho attitude and following around like a trained soldier who kills without thought. Kinda like Jacob’s theory in that respect. The resistance was just as bad as the man they feared. 

Wait. What. 

She visibly shook her head, pulling herself from her chair, moving so fast she almost forgot her gun. No she couldn’t think like that. She was on the good side. Fighting the right cause. Yet she couldn’t get the thought out of her head that when Jacob expects her to kill for him without question then at least he rewards her for it with praise and touch. 

Her knuckles were white wrapped around the steering wheel. The cheeseburger bobble head she found was dancing enthusiastically, a wide grin spread across his plastic face as if all was right in the world. The sudden surge of anger she felt was taken out on the adorable figure head for her diabetic bear friend, she slammed to a halt, burning rubber. Her hand wrapped around the toy and she chucked it to the passenger side, letting it hit the window with a dull thump that was not at all satisfying. 

“Holy shit. What did he ever do to you Deputy?”

She jumped, a scream ripping past her mouth before she focused on who stood outside her car. He was wearing an easy smile, hair curling around his scalp a little more than she last saw him. “Long time no see pup. Mind giving me a lift somewhere? Off to see my brothers. It’s a long walk.”

“Yeah, get in.” Jacob didn’t let her finish her sentence before he was opening the door. He placed the bobblehead in its rightful place on the dash, giving her a sidelong glance when she didn’t start up the car right away. 

“We gotta stop meeting in cars.” She frowned, body rigid, foot hovering over the gas pedal. It wasn’t too late. She could kick him out, still act as if she didn’t like the Seeds and was fully for the growing resistance. In all honesty the resistance would crumble without her, they were barely on their feet when she arrived in Hope County, only kicking off when she joined in. All those deaths would stop so long she stepped down. She wouldn’t have to hate the Seeds, wouldn’t have to sneak around like a young child.

She blew out a slow breath, relaxing and rolling her shoulders. “Yeah Jacob, let's just meet up at the corner store, or maybe the local diner.”

“Sarcasm. Glad to see someone’s in a good mood.” 

“God shut the fuck up. I’m doing something nice for you. I shouldn’t, yet I am, and if I’m seen with you then there could be some serious repercussions.”

“Worried about your reputation huh. Don’t worry pup, I’ll keep you safe, come up to the veterans center with me tonight. No ones gonna come hurt you as long as I’m around.”

She gave him a pointed glance with a sharp murmur of ‘Put on your damn seatbelt,’ before speeding off. 

He chuckled at her tone, leaning on the window and angling himself so he could watch her. “Seem to know where you’re going. Mind telling me who told you?” His fingers tapped along his jaw, other hand fiddling with his pistol.

“I’m not divulging that kind of information. Not to you.”

“To John or Joseph then?” She stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes. “Who are you mad at?”

She jerked. Slowing down to whip her head towards him. The shuddering movements of the car made him gesture to the road, an annoyed glare pointed at her. “What? Didn’t think I wouldn’t notice? You’ve got a short temper today.”

“Thought out of all people you’d be the one who wouldn’t talk so much in the car. We’re almost there, just shut up.”

“Pull over.”

“Jac—“

His larger hands covered her left one over the steering wheel. 

She threw up her hand, slamming on the brakes. “God, fine.”

He gripped onto the front of her shirt, clicking off her seatbelt and pulling her into his lap. She straddled him, hands on his shoulders. He pulled her down by the back of her neck so their lips could meet. “Joseph sees something in you. So here I am, playing nice and trying to show you that I’m not beyond caring. Deputy, tell me something. Anything.”

“Nothing to tell.”

“That’s a load of bullshit.” He kissed her again, tongue invading her mouth. “Fine, don’t tell, but good luck playing hero when you can’t help looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you can’t wait for a moment alone with me so I can bend you over and fuck you again. Bet you have the same look around my brothers.”

He pushed her off, over the console. She squirmed to get behind the wheel, forgetting her seatbelt and driving twice as fast. 

She drove up to their destination, hunching over as if she was trying to hide herself from the prying eyes of the other Seed brothers who awaited the arrival of the eldest. Jacob hesitated before getting out, “You got anywhere to be?”

“Here. I was supposed to be driving here alone.”

“Oh yeah? Something to do with knowing where my brothers and I were with no protection. Tell me, you one your way to kill us or screw up.”

She made a noise in the back of her throat.“I need to kill you guys.”

“Need. Not want. That a mistake? Freudian slip?”

“I know what I said.” Her gaze stayed straight ahead, eyes seeing through the scenery. “Come on, talk to us. Let’s be friends for a few hours before you’re back to destroying Eden’s Gate with your posse of cowards.”

The jab of his words hit too close to home. It made her wince, grinding her teeth together. 

The brothers embraced, foreheads pushing together, an act that was known by all and a familial bond she’d never get to feel. It had her looking away from the affection they showered upon each other. The Seeds not only had Hope County bowing down at their feet, they had the love of one another.

“Deputy.” John sidled up along the edge of the car, popping open the door and offering his hand for her to grab. He stroked the skin of her knuckles, smiling like he was genuinely happy to see her. 

“Hope I’m not intruding.”

“Of course not. We’re always glad to have you. Come on, let’s make some memories as a family.”

“Family?” The soft tone of her voice wasn’t from fear or shock. It was from the strange swelling of her heart. How her chest ached at the word. She could get used to that. Sure she had friends, but there was a bigger sense of community with the word family. 

“Was that too far? Too soon maybe? Did Joseph not…” his words hung in the air, waiting for some kind of response or reaction of understanding. His eyes flew over to his brothers as if he wanted saving from the situation he put himself in. 

“Let’s uh, let’s go.” With their hands still locked and the warmth of his body bleeding through his shirt pressed into her shoulder, she found herself enraptured by the men. This time around it wasn’t the effects of any bliss or alcohol, she couldn’t lie to herself when she truly felt happy in their presence. 

Joseph stepped forward, hand coming to rest at the nape of her neck. “I’ve got so many things to tell you Child. I’ve been waiting for us to meet again so I could explain things.” Jacob and John had already walked into a small house, more like a shack compared to the all the other places she been with the brothers. Which all resulted in her moaning their names. Those images flashed throughout her head, rolling through like movie.

“Explain then. You’ve got my attention. I’m curious.” 

He beamed at her, hand resting at the small of her back to lead her to where his brothers disappeared. It was only one room. A less than extravagant bedroom, but it looked well lived in. Probably a hang out spot used by the Seeds more than anyone knew. Away from prying eyes. It was like a camping trip, a way for them to escape their responsibilities for a short time.

“You are one of us. You may not realize it now,” (Oh if he only knew how she definitely was sure that her heart didn’t belong to the resistance anymore) “We want to make you see. To show you our union as we come together as one. You may decline at this time, but know that God’s plan will not be forgotten. You can’t run from fate, escape it now but eventually it will catch up to you.”

In the periphery of her vision she saw John and Jacob staring at them, hanging onto every word because Joseph wasn’t whispering and this room was small and empty save for the bed and kitchen table. The offshoots of the house only led to a bathroom and closet, the bare minimum. 

“Joseph, I want you all to see that I’ll accept this. God,” she clutched at his hips, rubbing firm circles in his exposed skin. Her lips pressed against his pronounced collar bone. “Been lying to myself for a while. It’s getting maddening.”

He sighed, petting over her hair and smiling at his brothers. “You’ll be safe with us. You’ll live with us, stay by our sides. This is the best option if you want to not only live but live the best life, one where you have a future. A family. A place where you feel at home, it’s been too long since you’ve felt that right? It must’ve been a while since you’ve slept in a nice bed without looking over your shoulder in fear and worry. Not to mention how thin you’ve gotten, you deserve a proper meal followed by a warm shower, one that’d we would be happy to help out with. Just a day to get reacquainted with the good life where you aren’t always afraid.” 

He pulled away and nodded once at his siblings, mumbling a parting, “You made the right choice,” before letting his brothers take over. 

Joseph sat back, once again more concerned about the happiness of his brothers than himself, more than okay with allowing them to step in first before he joined. 

His hands were gripping tightly on the arms of a loveseat, cock already half hard, straining in his jeans. 

John flanked her on her right, Jacob hovered to her right, keeping his distance and admiring the full view she offered. John’s hand rubbed along her arm, starting at her shoulder and messaging down to her fingertips. “Joseph, now? Can we start?”

“Yes. But go slow John. Show her you love her.”

“I know.” He sounded like a peeved child as he reached to pull them so they were facing each other. True to Joseph’s orders, he went slowly when he removed her jacket. Dragging it down her arms and letting it slip off behind her for Jacob to take. She turned her head to watch the red head fold up the article of clothing and place it to the side. 

“Look at me baby.” John’s lips brushed her ear, he delivered a sharp bite that had her hiss. 

“Gently John.”

His shoulders sagged at the reprimand. He continued removing her clothes, fingers reaching for the hem of her shirt and instructing her to lift her arms up. Once again the shirt was tossed behind her for Jacob to take care of. 

She was shivering in the cold room, something Joseph took notice of immediately. He rose from his lounged back position to brush over the goosebumps that formed like hills over her body. Without further words exchanged he retrieved a space heater to warm the room.

John scoffed, “Not one for sweaty sex Joseph, won’t be able to do anything properly if we’re all slipping against eachother.”

Jacob’s booming laughter had her head turning again to watch his features of amusement.“John if you and your partner aren't getting sweaty just from how you take care of them then I don’t think you’re doing it right in the first place. You should see what they look like when I’m done with ‘em. I work up quite the pace, make them so fucking tired at the end.”

Her hand lifted to John’s face was he bared his teeth, stepping forward like he was ready for a fight. His eyes found hers in the half light. She saw him soften and take a step closer so they could feel their body heat rolling off of eachother. “Huh. This is what Joe was talking about. You’re made for us. You balance us all out, you’ll make us better.” 

Jacob moved up behind her when Joseph went back to his chair. His hands found her hips, kissing her neck and leaving marks. Blunt fingernails made rosy red marks over her stomach. He popped open the button on her jeans, hand dipping in to run over her panties. She felt him smile as a shudder ran through her. “So responsive for me. Keep that up I’ll be more than happy to reward you.” 

He stepped back enough to yank her jeans down, slapping her thigh to indicate that she should step out of them. Once again he used his nails, running it over the heels of her feet, making her pitch forward and hold onto John who frowned at his brother’s actions. “Stop fooling around.” 

“I’m older than you, I’ve got more experience. She likes the chase, the anticipation leading up to it all.” 

This time John only let out a loud breath, glancing over at Joseph. 

They sandwiched her body, she twirled to face Jacob who hauled her up to hold onto her. She was tossed on the bed, making Joseph mumble something close to a warning that Jacob simply rolled his eyes too. 

Jacob pushed kisses around her face, purposely avoiding her lips, making her grab his face and force their mouths together, teeth clacking when he laughed. With the kind of hands only older men can manage, Jacob undid her bra without looking in half a second. He wasted no time removing her panties. Groaning when he saw the sight of her cunt. “You just keep getting more pretty huh?” 

Her legs were spread, head tipped back as Jacob got on his knees and hauled her up to him him, her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, arms winding around his neck. “Hold on tight pup.”

He thrusted in and by this point her pussy knew the intrusion well. Her walls grabbed onto him, pulling him in until there was no more space left between them. She felt John at her rear, finger coated in cold lube. He pressed tentatively inside her. Pausing whenever she gasped and pushed closer to Jacob for comfort. 

It was uncomfortable at first. Way tighter than her cunt was. “Your body will take me.” Mumbled by her neck where he placed a few bite marks to match Jacob’s. 

The tip of John’s cock pressed against the ring of muscles. The slight slip of his head inside her made her neck go loose and fall back on his shoulder. He was breathtaking. The normally composed baptist had his hair disheveled and his eyes had darkened. Sweat slicked his upper lip, it was a sight she could get used to. “Whatcha thinking about dep?”

“You’re gorgeous. Especially that smile you show sometimes.” That comment had him produce the exact smile she was conjuring up in her mind. 

“There it is.” She whispered, eyes slipping closed. Her brow pinched tight as John shuffled closer, pushing himself deeper inside. Jacob must’ve had amazing self control to not already be bucking into her. She knew that was slipping though. Everytime John pushed in it would send pulses of pleasure running through Jacob. 

With a final shove John was seated inside, making her whimper. She clawed for purchase, pawing through the hair on Jacob’s chest. His sheer strength was the only thing holding her suspended between them. 

“Wanna join Joe?” Jacob was panting his words out, already beginning to move, gesturing for John to do the same. They tried it keep themselves quiet to hear Joseph’s response. 

He stood, arms staying at his side as he walked towards them where their limbs tangled on the bed. 

“It’s time.”


	3. Chapter 3

Too many sensations at once overwhelmed her. Made her kisses sloppy when Joseph cupped her cheeks. 

All too soon and Jacob was pulling out of her cunt to adjust their position. She was maneuvered on her hands and knees, eye level to Jacob’s cock. John was still heavy and hard jammed inside her ass.

It took her mind a little while to catch up with the heated flesh resting on the edge of her lip with how John was rocking into her. Joseph gave well placed caresses and kisses where his brother’s hands weren’t covering her skin. 

She popped Jacob in her mouth, sucking at the tip, an action that had him writhing, desperate for more. Joseph’s hand rested on the back of her head, letting her pace herself so she wouldn't choke. 

When John sped up it forced her to push Jacob further in her mouth. “That’s it pup.” His thumb fondly traced over her closed lids. 

“She takes it well doesn’t she?”

“Yes John, she was made for us. All of us. She’ll Balance us out nicely.”

One of her hands was on Jacob’s chest, tugging at the hair he had. Her other hand moved behind her to touch John’s stomach. He linked their fingers together, leaning so he was draped over her back. His thrusts grew animalistic, rutting into her. 

He yanked out suddenly, stroking his flesh and circling two fingers around her clit. Her nails dug into Jacob’s thighs as she took him deeper, her groans reverberated around his cock, making him pull her up by her hair, tapping her shoulder as a sign of stop. “Don’t wanna waste my cum by pouring it down your throat, gotta put it use.”

She laid over his legs, panting as John pushed two fingers inside her. Joseph was holding onto her waist, pulling her up so she could be seated on Jacob. He dropped her down, probably hoping Jacob would ease her descent, making a displeased note when he only pushed her down faster and harder. She was bounced around on him while John reached from behind her to toy with her breasts. She could feel the thick outline of his cock on her back. Occasionally he rubbed his hardened member along her sweaty skin, cursing through clenched teeth. 

She was so ready to cum, could feel it building with each time Jacob’s cock would slam into her. He looked beautiful with his head thrown back and eyes closed tightly. “Joey, get her off for me.”

Joseph wasted no time in pressing a single finger over her clit despite John’s whines of how unfair it was. Only to be met with his brother reminding him of greed, that she belonged to all of them and that no one should feel jealous. That didn’t stop John from laying down on the bed to kiss along her hip, watching with sharp eyes of how her reddened cunt was stuffed full. 

Joseph went for a slow build up, going faster when Jacob seemed to be nearing his end. Soon she was rocking shamelessly into Joseph’s touch. When she came she reached out to tangle in John’s hair who waited patiently below her like a dog. He groaned when she pulled harshly at the brown locks. 

Her whimpers of pleasure didn’t end as Joseph pulled her off Jacob, spreading his legs so she could rest comfortably in between. Her back to his chest. His pants had been removed sometime when she was in Jacob’s lap. She could feel his hardened cock on her skin. 

John spread her legs, whistling at the sight in front of him. “Hard to believe she’s ours now.” He made bruises along the inside of her thigh with sharp teeth, wasting no time lining himself up and shoving inside. She saw white in her vision, clawing at the bedsheets and finding Joseph’s hand to grab as a lifeline. Joseph cooed into her ear, pushing hair away from her eyes. Every nerve was still on fire from Jacob, his cum was dripping down her legs too, making her more slick for John.

The noises she made kept getting louder until she was practically screaming nonsense. Joseph’s lips would cover hers whenever she got too loud. 

Her back arched when she felt another orgasm approach. “S’okay If I cum inside, fill you up with my kids?” It wasn’t really a question. With blinding clarity she knew that she wanted to be filled to the brim. She nodded though, reaching up to grab at his shoulders and pulled away from Joseph. She whispered pleas of yes over and over even after her orgasm struck, making her teeth sink into his skin. 

She heard blood rushing to her ears, making the world foggy as she was placed on her side. When her vision finally came back to her and she could recognize Joseph’s gentle hands rubbing down the curve of her hips, she saw Jacob, looking pleased and sated with his face inches from hers. John was hovering nervously over his brother, seeming tired and concerned. “Did I hurt you?” She shook her head, eyes slipping closed. 

The bed creaked as John went to the bottom of the bed, sprawling out to lay down. “We aren’t done Child.” Joseph moved her to lie on her back, making her spread her legs wide to give him room to fit his frame. Jacob’s hand remained a calming force on her head, petting down her unruly locks.

Joseph slipped inside her with no resistance. She was loose and dripping, stretched more than enough to take two cocks. And hey wasn’t that an idea she could pitch later on, one that made her impatiently buck into him and heat curl in her abdomen. 

She cried out for Joseph, for The Father. He fucked her slowly, a man who’s witnessed abuse enough for a dozen people didn’t want to make the one good thing that God allowed them to share pleasure to be felt harshly. In his eyes anyone who laid hands on a woman or child has that hardest time being saved and had a long treacherous path ahead if they wanted to atone and be seen as good again in his eyes, so even if being rough in bed wasn’t harming his partner it still didn’t sit well with him. 

So she’d have to deal with the sensual side of things that differed so much from his brothers. It still got her off though. Turned her into a gasping mess as she patted his stomach wearily and whimpered, “No more,” as she came for the third time that night. 

When he pulled out she felt all their combined juices rush out of her. Something Jacob noticed as he propped himself up on his elbows. He took Joseph’s spot when the middle brother moved to turn off the heater and grab water.

Jacob twisted two fingers around their cum, shoving it back deep inside. She mewled, nails scratching along his arms. Her high pitched noises caught John’s attention. He looked bleary eyed, like he’d been sleeping. She laughed as he curled up against her side where Jacob was a moment before, already falling asleep as he clung to her. 

She gazed up at Jacob who sat on his knees looking down at her. He grabbed the wet towel Joseph handed him to wipe her clean. She saw the grimace that ran across his face. “Might have to scrap the sheats Joe.” Joseph only hummed, walking around the bed to place another cool washcloth on John’s skin. He sighed in his sleep, pushing into the water soaked towel. 

“A job for another day Jacob. Let’s enjoy ourselves right now.” 

Jacob was brief as he wiped the sweat from his brow. He pulled on his boxers along with Joseph. 

“Coming to bed brother?” Joseph mumbled the words around a yawn when he went to the other side of the deputy that John didn’t occupy. 

“Nah, gotta take first watch anyway.”

She watched him toss on his military jacket and grab his rifle. It made her laugh. A 6”3 ginger man who only wore boxers and a jacket and brandished a huge red gun, yeah, they’d be safe. 

From now on she’d always be safe, it’d be a nice change of pace to not have to worry about where she was going to sleep that night or where her next meal was coming from. 

She could push away the thoughts of those people who were once her friends and stay somewhere where she’d be loved and appreciated. She didn’t mind being passed around among the brothers. They all were broken and had their flaws and she could fix that. One night at a time, holding them close just like she was right now as she drifted off with a stationed guard at the door in the form of a rugged mountain man and two perfectly revered men flanking her.


	4. Chapter 4

“So you didn’t take the shot?” 

The deputy was spooning the last drops of soup into her mouth. Who knew Sharky was good at cooking? God she could marry the man if she knew he’d make her food like this all the time. 

“Nope.” 

He shifted. An uncomfortable gaze piercing through her. 

“Wanna go burn some bliss fields? Heard John’s planting some more until they can replace Faith.” 

She was already packing her things into her rucksack, heaving it over her shoulder and grunting at the strain it put on her muscles. 

“Nah, think I’m gonna head up to the mountains, clear my head for a little while.”

More like get away from the overbearing questions that she couldn’t answer without the naked bodies of the Seeds coming to mind. 

—-

“You got that close and they didn’t see ya?”

Jess lowered her bow from where it was raised aiming at the buck she just shot. It laid 20 feet from them, an arrow protruding out of its side. 

“Yeah, why’s that so hard to understand?”

“Well honey,” the pet name sounded fine rolling off Adelaide’s tongue, it brought back memories Jacob saying it. “After all those men has done to us we figured you’d go for it.”

“It was risky.” 

“I suppose.” Jess sounded too skeptical for her liking. 

The deputy’s hands balled into fists. And here she thought this was supposed to be a relaxing day after the incident with Sharky. 

“Fine, don’t believe me. Now are we gonna hunt or are we gonna talk about me getting cold feet?”

“No need to get all hostile deputy. Just one more question.” Adelaide and her hung back as Jess ran ahead to skin the deer. “Did ya fuck ‘em like I recommended. Bet they get real sated and tired after a good fuck, that’s when you go in for the kill.”

Yeah, she had enough. All that line of questioning did is make her think of how John laid sprawled out after they had sex, tired like an overworked puppy. 

She turned on her heel, mumbling something rude for members of the same side of a war to say to each other and ignored their calls for her to come back. 

—-

“If you ever need someone to come with you next time you get a lead like that I’d be more than happy to cover you. Set up miles away, line up John’s smug face with my rifle, it’d only take a second.”

“Grace.” She tossed her beer to the side, her second one. She wasn’t properly drunk, no one ever gave her a chance after the last few incidents where she disappeared for a few days once she got hammered. “No offense but I can take care of myself.”

“Not questioning your capabilities, I’ve seen first hand what you can do. Just think you might need a hand out, can’t do everything alone.” She reached for her third beer, opening it a little too forcefully, making it slosh over the sides and onto her hands. Great, that’s what she needed, sticky fingers. 

“Wanna head down to Fall’s End? Thinking about meeting some people.”

“No.” Short, simple, straight to the point. Why lie? The company she craved was miles away. 

She stayed on the roof of the Lamb of God Church, occasionally looking through her binoculars for trouble. Everything was serenely quiet for once.

Her feet dangled off the edge, eyes scanning. Somehow her gaze always landed on her phone. Dangling precariously on a box close to the lip of the roof. Her heart clenched. Who would most likely not annoy the crap out of her by asking why she didn’t kill the Seed brothers or ask for another favor?

She went through a lot of shit with her friends pestering her for missing her chance. Instead she screwed them all, not like anyone knew that. She wanted to talk to one of the brothers, she needed someone who would take care of her, a nice bed and some clean clothes would be a perk.

No longer drunk, clear headed, she made the conscience decision to call Joseph Seed. If he couldn’t take her in for the night then at least he’d talk to her, take her mind off of everything. 

They had smart people in their little band of misfits who joined the resistance. Smart people who just so happened to be tech savvy and could figure out the Seed’s numbers, all of which were passed on to her, their lap dog, their pride and joy who would walk to the ends of the earth for them. In their minds such information couldn’t be in better hands. 

She was shaking nervously as she climbed down the ladder, feet slipping and catching, almost falling twice. When she finally did touch the ground it was with the prayer of not collapsing on the way down in a heap of limbs. 

The phone rang once. 

Only once before Joseph’s voice filled her ears. That thought made her giddy. Sure it was late in the evening and he probably wasn’t busy with his flock but it felt like he was prioritizing her. 

“Hello? Who’s this, I’m afraid I don’t recognize the number.”

Ah. Right. He didn’t know she had his contact. 

“Joseph. Hey.” She cringed when her words jumped in pitch. Nerves were a bitch. 

“Ryleigh? Child, though it’s always pleasant to hear from you, I'm worried how you managed to get my number.” 

“Nothing too unethical.”

“Hmph. What did you need?” Oh. The shift in topics gave her whiplash. He sounded breathless almost, panting into the receiver. “I’m a bit busy if you’ll excuse me, maybe make this quick, unless you’re in danger.” She heard the shift of his clothing as he moved. 

“Not in danger. Just wanted to talk, hear your voice.” Another tiny hitch in his breathing. “Do my words have an effect on you? Am I distracting you from whatever it is you’re doing?” 

He sighed. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

“Joseph—“

“It’s Corinthians 10:13.”

“Still means nothing.” 

He didn’t sound impatient when filling in the holes of her ignorance. It was something he most likely had to do his entire life. 

“Have you ever had thoughts that revolved around believing no one has ever felt the way you have, that everyone around you hasn’t had the thoughts that they don’t know what you’re going through?” A rhetorical question presumably, from how he barreled on without pause. “It’s saying that it is normal to feel isolated in our sufferings of temptations, but we must remember that we will not have to endure anything that is not common to any other human has experienced. So though I feel I am alone in battling these temptations you are presenting to me, I must remember that I can get through this because others have prevailed.” 

Her hands tightened on the phone, eyes closed, just dialing into his voice. “Can I come over?”

“Oh. Ah, I’ve got to head over to Faith’s bunker in about twenty minutes. Besides, I’m busy.” His words sounded behind clenched teeth and a gasp. 

“I can go with you.” Jesus. When did she ever become the desperate type?

“No. No that’s not a good idea. I’m prepping Faith.” His words made her cringe. It wasn’t directly said but she knew they were both thinking that she was the one who killed the old Faith, who watched her lifeless body float away. It also happened to be the same day she fucked Jacob. It what started this whole mess.

“I thought you said that I’d be passed around your brothers and you, that I could always find haven next to one of you.”

“I meant that fully. We all did. I can send a ride your way, bring you to Jacob. He’s been talking about you, he wants to see you. Had to stop him from sending a capture party.” 

“Yes, God yes, please. Things aren’t going to well with my friends. I need someone. Thank you.” 

With goodbyes said she let her phone hang loosely in her grip. She’d sit and wait for that white Eden’s Gate truck to deliver her to Jacob and she this time around she wouldn’t feel the rising fear that she was accustomed to. 

—-

As soon as she was pushed inside the soldier’s room she was surrounded by his warmth. His hands pet over her hair lovingly. “What’s wrong?” She was hoping he wouldn’t ask anything close to that question. She should’ve known that she wouldn’t be able to get anything past this man. And as soon as she heard his tender words accompanied by his gruff voice that she adored, it opened up the floodgates. She snapped, shoulder shaking, hands fisting his shirt. 

He picked her up bridal style, lying her down on his bed and went to rub away her tears. He made soft noises to calm her. Barely anything seemed to work, she was shaking, not responding to him. 

Jacob heaved her into a sitting position and kissed her hard. She hiccuped in his mouth, quieting down from surprise. Her hand came up to brush her lips, a blush covered her cheeks. 

He pulled her to his chest and let her push herself into his neck. “Look at you, a mess after a single kiss.”

“An unprompted kiss.”

He laughed lowly in her ear. “I’ve been 7 inches deep in your pretty cunt and a kiss is what tears you apart.” 

“Jacob!” She tried to pull away, only managing to make him tighten his hold on her while he laughed fully. “What would Joseph think?” 

“Fuck Joseph.”

“Already did, you were there remember?” 

He grabbed her chin, nudging their noses together. “Can’t stop thinking about it. Pretty sure I’ll never forget it. And as much as I’d love to take you again while you’re here, seems like that’s not what you need right now.” He kissed her, softer this time. 

“Did ya miss me pup?” The tears collected in her eyes again and she whined. “I know, shush. Those resistance ‘friends’ of yours aren’t any good for you. They made you get to this point, I’m not too keen on you hanging around people who make you cry so badly that you have to come running home. You need someone better for you.”

“Suppose you’re the answer for that.”

“More or less.” 

“You can be good for me Jacob.”

Another kiss. God he had to know what he was doing to her. Making her want to stray from the righteous path. 

He loosened his hold on her to take off his dog tags, whistle and rabbits foot. Her head tipped down as he put it around her neck. His throat looked so bare, vulnerable. “This supposed to protect me?” 

“Well, it’s worked for me right? Kept me alive.” She fingered the items that dangled. She read the etched in words on his tags and rubbed the fur of his rabbits foot. 

“You’re staying pup.” She chuckled as he rose from the bed to go back to the maps and document on his desk. He’s a real soldier, only knowing how to give orders, demands. Never asking. And she was strangely okay with it. 

An hour in and she was floating into a sleepy state, yet she was unusually wired. Listening to the hustle outside the windows and the barking of wolves made her squirm.

A hand was trailing down the side of her face, stroking her jaw. The rough calluses of his fingers had her leaning into his touch. “I gotta go honey, problem I need to take care of.” She clutched onto his jacket, she didn’t have the strength to make him stop, but he stumbled back towards her anyway. She buried her nose in his hip, breathing deep, if he was gone for long she wouldn’t be able to wait up for him. She wasn’t considered one of them, couldn’t just stay there. 

“Here,” when she craned her neck to look up at him he was removing his military jacket. It was draped over her shoulders. “Keep that safe for me.” 

The door slammed shut, a sign that whatever he was going to deal with had made him more angry then he was letting on. And he took none of it out all her despite it probably having to do with the citizens she was supposed to protect or even a member of the resistance. Hadn’t wanted her to worry when she was already so fragile. A gesture that was more appreciated than he could realize. She was used to being the sole person who helped everyone, who knew everyone’s problems.

That only brought back what Joseph said to the forefront of her mind. How Jacob worked nonstop just like she did. And there he was running off again, she knew the feeling well. Because if she didn’t do something then no one would. It was the same for Jacob. People looked towards him for directions. He needed caring just like she did. One of these days she’d have to treat all three of them to something special as a way of saying thank you.

She had the jacket curled around one fist as she raised it over her mouth. At every small action one of the brothers did she couldn’t deny the thought that she wanted this. That she could make the best of her life if she just gave in. They weren’t forcing her or manipulating her. It wasn’t stockholm syndrome. 

She didn’t want to listen to her friends and their words filled with lies that would drag her further away from happiness.

They were wrong. 

For once she was happy. She needed to break the news sooner or later


	5. Chapter 5

The alarms went off five minutes later when she had pulled blankets over her body and was just starting to feel her anxiety levels go down. Now everything in her mind has spiked with panic. That survivalist instinct that she stupidly shut off was racing to catch up with what was happening around her. 

She shot up, yanking her arms through his jacket and plunging the things around her neck into her shirt so they wouldn’t bounce around when she ran as far as she could from this place. It was mass confusion when she walked out onto the connecting balcony. Whitetails mingled with Peggies. The militia was organized in their battles, that didn’t stop this from being a stupid idea. Directly attacking Jacob’s compound was something that was never even discussed. An unspoken of rule. It was armed like a fortress, held his best weapons. Men and Judges alike. 

The deputy scaled down the wall with her grappling hook. Which way towards safety? She felt conflicted, unsafe. Like she was an outsider, a citizen who got caught up in a war she had no part in. The Whitetails were her people, yet she hesitated in running over to the treeline where there were trying to push back Eden’s Gate. Going to Eli in the Wolf’s Den sounded undesirable. But she had a sneaking suspicion they were here for her. They’d stop, maybe pull back if they got what they were coming for. 

The only way through was charging through all the gunfire. A risk she’d have to take. Hell, at least it’d make her known, some Whitetail was sure to grab her. 

Her lungs were burning the further she ran. How she was making it so far without a bullet piercing her body, she wasn’t sure, Joseph would say God was looking out for her. The thought made her smile. It also made her veer off her path and slam into a Peggie. A scream was torn past his lips and the knife he had holstered was jammed into her arm as they rolled around together in the mud from the force of the hit. He pulled back when she was the one on the bottom, pistol trained in her face, breath hitching when he recognized the deputy’s face. Word spreads fast and when she arrived on the orders of The Father, everyone knew of it. So he didn’t shoot. Just stared in shock horror at what he had done.

Her lips pulled back at the pain. “Go, go fight, help Jacob keep this place. I’ll be fine.”

“I-I can’t j-just let you go.” 

“For fuck’s sake!” The man was worried about the wrath of the soldier who ruled this place with an iron fist. She understood. “Call John. Let him know I’m on my way.” He nodded, head jerking like a bird. As he rose she gripped onto his shoulder, momentarily stopping him. “Hey, calm down. I won’t mention that you did this.” His face was flooded with a burst of relief, mumbling praises as she stumbled away. 

She kept the knife in, knew that if she pulled it out she’d bleed faster, especially if she hit an artery. Getting behind the wheel of a car marked ‘sinner’ proved to be a challenge with the injury. She might be wrong, it could be safer to take out the knife. The sharp blade might be slicing her muscles, turning them into a fillet. 

It stayed in. It was too painful when her fingers danced around the handle and tugged slightly. She absolutely ruined the car, made blood fill the air with an awful twinge that would take years worth of air fresheners and candles to wipe away. Not to mention how difficult it’d be to wipe her blood out of the leather seats. Any other situation and she’d laugh at how she was prioritizing her thoughts. 

“Deputy?” Her teeth grinded together at the absolute concern in John’s voice. 

“Hiya.” Too light and joking. Something she’d say to Jess when the hunter was frowning and whatever inner demons she had was keeping her up at night. 

“Do not ‘hiya’ me dep. Don’t act like that when you’re fucking dying.”

“I’m coming to you John. It was only my arm. I’ll be fine, cause you’ll take care of me won’t you?”

“God, you’re infuriating. Yes. I will fix what you’ve done. Why wouldn’t I?”

She made a sharp turn that had her cursing when the grass made contact with rubber and slowed her down. 

“You sound mad.” 

“I’m freaking out. I’m pacing around outside and,” He paused dramatically, sucking in air, “Everyone keeps asking if there is anything they can do!” That last part was screamed, probably to get the attention of whoever had posed such a question. “I’m considering getting in my car and grabbing you, I’d feel safer if you were in my sight.” John whimpered. “I feel sick.” 

“Quiet John, almost there.”

“What’s almost? Time? Place?”

She rounded the curve in the road, spotting John’s red silo near his home. “And you call me infuriating.” He huffed, holding back some response that’d only serve to make him more anxious. 

She didn’t even have time to park before John was yanking at the handle, mouth pulled tight when he found it locked. When she stepped out he immediately had his arm around her waist. “Why’s the door locked, I’m trying to help.”

It was hard to ignore the looks everyone was giving her. It was new news to the Peggies that John didn’t harbour any hate for her. “For the crazy people like you who try to grab me.” 

He stayed silent after that, urging her to hop up onto a cold surface. Her eyes darted around, it was his kitchen, he had put her up on his countertop. 

“Fuck,” he was right in her face, crooning and staring at the knife. “You didn’t take that out. C’mon dep, thought you’re supposed to be smart.” Ah. So he was one of those. Someone who covered their pain with humour. She couldn’t blame the man, she knows too many people who do that. 

He stripped off the jacket, pausing to brush over the words ‘J.Seed,’ “Where was Jacob when this took place?” 

Her shirt sleeve was ripped down to expose the wound, after the knife was ripped from her flesh with a wet pop. Another shirt gone to this man. 

“He went to do his job. He was working, busy.”

“Doesn’t matter, Joseph won’t be pleased.”

“Joseph doesn’t need to know.” John shrugged, pouring on hydrogen peroxide. 

“He most likely already knows. Some Peggies have seen that he cares about you. If something happens to the fearsome deputy then they will tell him.”

She leaned back against the cabinets as he worked to put on a gauze wrap. “There. All better. I’ve got clothes for you. Something warm.”

“Please.” He helped her down, holding her when she stumbled. The stairs were another feat that John guided her through. Kinder than she ever thought he would be. But Joseph had told her in confidence that John was not always a monster, that he was a lighthearted joy. She could see that empathy that everyone else thought was gone. Died when he was tossed in foster care. She nuzzled closer to him, inhaling deeply. 

“You’re affectionate tonight. Jacob didn’t treat you?”

“No. Wasn’t in the mood.”

She was placed on the edge of the bed so she could sit. He went into his closet, it was a walk in closet, no surprise there. “You or him?” His voice was slightly muffled from the walls separating them. 

“Bit of both.”

“Hm.” He came out holding up one of his shirts. “Just say he wasn’t so I can tease him later. Don’t have nearly enough dirt on him.”

A laugh slipped out, immediately making her wince. John was there stroking her face. “Let me help you get dressed.” 

Her shirt was lifted up and off, causing the things around her neck to clatter between her breasts. At first she thought he was staring at the skin he exposed, until he pulled on Jacob’s tags to read them. Humming in approval when he saw his older brother’s name. “He’s a good man huh?” John beamed at her when he said it. And just like that she could see the younger John who looked up to his older siblings. “People fear him, but he’s been nothing but nice to me my entire life. He saved me and Joseph, I think I owe him with all the shit he went through because of me.” 

He cut himself off before he could say more. Taking off the tags, whistle and rabbits foot she had gotten used to, and laid it on the bedside table. 

John placed a soft, silky material on her that was buttoned up with his slow, slender fingers. She knew it wasn’t a mistake with how he lingered against her skin. He ran his hands over her ribs, going upwards to brush at the sides of her breasts that weren’t covered by the shirt yet. He took in a deep breath, pushing her back on the bed. She squirmed when he lifted her legs to brace on his shoulders. Squashing down the disappointment when he was only taking off her pants. 

When her clothes were tossed on the floor he kept her feet firmly on his shoulders. His gaze swept over the view he had on her panties. Ultimately he didn’t do anything. Just straightened out his vest when he stepped back. 

“If you wanted something then you can ask.”

He shook his head, hands furling in his hair. “No, I shouldn't. You need to know you mean more to me than someone I can fuck. I want to be different than who I was.”

“Corinthians 10:13.”

“What?” The entire time his back was turned to her, stripping down. Now he whipped around fast, vest and shirt held in his hand. 

“Dunno. Something Joseph said to me.”

John laughed, head tilting as he yanked off his jeans and replaced it with sweatpants. “He used the same line on me plenty of times. I recognized it, just wondered how you knew it.”

John plopped down beside her, grabbing her hands and kissing her knuckles. “So glad God spared you. He was looking out for you.”

“I got stabbed. Wasn’t exactly the most merciful”

“Yes.” He held up a single finger. “But, that brought you to me, didn’t it dear?”

“You’re crazy.”

“I’ve been called worse.” He was just as stubborn as he she was, so she shut up, knew he wouldn’t stop with the comebacks. Always ready with a full arsenal of words with an air of confidence. His inner lawyer came out in moments like that. He probably enjoyed outwitting people until they were stammering and confused. 

“You look tired.” She winced at the obviousness of her own statement. He just had been ranting across the radio, of course he was worn out. To her surprise he simply nodded and put his head in her lap. 

“I guess.” 

She waited until John was snoring soundly before she put two pillows below his head and crept downstairs, pausing whenever the wood creaked under her feet. No one came to check on their Baptist. Made her think that John never let anyone pass the threshold of his door besides his family. And now her. Though those were kinda the same thing, she was his family. At least she felt like she was. 

She went out the back door, still only wearing John’s shirt and her panties. The air was pleasantly warm as she made her way down to the river behind his ranch. 

The water was breathtaking. It had her heart stuttering rapidly behind her rib cage. The water offered a secluded place from all the dangers in the world when she was younger, the same held true for the present. 

The cool waves that were barely there were tempting her to dive in. She managed to keep herself composed long enough to strip bare and wade in. Stopping to shiver and get used to the change in temperature every few seconds when the cold would overwhelm her. It was pitch black out, the dead of night, yet she hoped the water was still warm from the sun heating it up in the daytime. No such luck.

She kept going though, until the waves were lapping below her breasts. Now surrounded by it, she could get a better look at what she was missing all these months in Hope County by not swimming. Hell, she’d been in the Henbane for most of the time and got warnings right away of the bliss infested waters, not too long she found herself in John’s region. And by then she was too wrapped up in her worries about having sex with 2 out of the 3 Seeds that swimming never crossed her mind. It got even more muddled when the number of brothers she rolled around in the sheets with got up to a nice, full 100%. 

The crunching of leaves, of someone fast approaching made her hands cross around her shoulder to cover her chest as she peeked over her shoulder. Like she said, luck, never in her favor. “You had me worried.” She relaxed, albeit minutely, when John came into view. She had to squint to make out his features in the darkness. 

His slippered foot, once again not surprised at his lavish lifestyle, hit her discarded clothing. A knowing look flashed over his face when he realized she was naked. “Sorry. I don’t have to come any closer.”

“You’ve seen all of me before John.” As if to prove her point she turned around and dropped her hands to her side. He had stumbled closer and toed off his slippers and walked in. Only letting it come up to his calves. 

“You’ve never been baptized.” Murmured so soft she had to take a few steps towards him just to hear. “Do you want to? This is perfect. We can make it more private, intimate, I think that’d be best considering what your status is among Eden’s Gate.” Her eyes slammed shut and another shiver ran through her. ‘Her status,’ She was apart of the project in his mind. And she had a feeling they wouldn’t let her leave. 

His hands reached out for her when she didn’t say anything. He sensed her hesitation, the battle she was having in her mind. She could see why they chose him to do these kind of things for the cult-no that’s not right-religion. The look he gave her was open, she could spill him all her secrets and she knew he wouldn’t judge, he’d point her in the right direction. 

Her hands intertwined with his as she leaned forward to kiss him. 

“Yes.” 

He acted so polite. Keeping his hands to himself as he led them deeper until the water was hip level. There was a glint in his eyes as his hand moved to her back and the other between her breasts. He didn’t push her into the water right away. “Such perfection.” This was said as he rubbed up and down her spine. She clung to his shoulders as a lifeline as the hand on her front moved to palm at her breast. Her nipples were already hardened from the cold, and apparently overly sensitive as the slightest touch had her whimpering. “Baby, you’re devine.” 

With a dreamy smile on her lips she was dunked into the water. It submerged her, covering her entire body and knocking the air from her lungs.

She counted the seconds in her head, when she got to twenty she didn’t panic. John wouldn’t drown her. Thirty, and she reached up to squeeze his shoulder. He tensed for a second before realizing her intentions weren’t to struggle. At forty three she was brought up, heaving in breaths that had her panting. She hugged him tight to her body. Bare skin of their chests touching. 

She could feel his erection through he soaked sweatpants. They clung loosely to his skin and hid little. “Not fucking you, already said that. I want to give you the respect you deserve. If Jacob and Joseph can show love through other methods than so can I.”

A chuckle escaped her, “You’re a gentleman.”

Pride shown on his face at her words and he pulled her tighter, making her gasp. “I’m trying.” John whined it desperately. Looking for validation. 

“I know John. I know.”


	6. Chapter 6

The resistance was scrambling around, their radio frequencies were going haywire with news if anyone saw the deputy. Always the same answer no matter how many times people jumped on to request for her or call her home. 

And she sat in the church she first came to arrest Joseph in with her radio clutched in her grasp. She listened to every word, each thing they said had some awful effect on her psyche. Made her wonder what she saw in the brothers that no one else did. 

With her head in her hands she struggled with the indecision to answer them or not. She was shaking, holding in tears when the church door clanged behind her. “Deputy?” Joseph paused when he heard the voices of her friends coming out of the radio. “You shouldn’t be listening to that.” He snatched it out of her hand, tuning it to some aberery channel Jacob was broadcasting. 

“What else would I be doing? You’re not letting me help.”

“You don’t need to. We don’t need you to worry about the resistance. Their forces are dying down. One final push from Jacob’s troops and everything will be back to normal, how they were before you got here and you can see how amazing Hope County is without all the fighting.” He fell down next to her. If only he knew the panic he instilled in her. Not fear for her friends, things had changed recently and suddenly the thought of them not in her life didn’t bother her. She was worried about what role she would play when she was no longer a soldier in war. It was what her existence was counting on. Whether she was a cop or battling Eden's Gate, she always fought.

Now what?

They’d never let her out of their sight if she let on her want to fight. Maybe Jacob would allow it, give her one last go at being a warrior before it all was gone and the resistance stopped. For now she pressed closer to Joseph’s touch, pressing kiss after kiss on his lips. Going to tug at his belt and laughed when he allowed her to. “Not yet.” 

“What?” Her head was already down, pressing into his cock, urging it into hardness. “I want you like last time. I want to be inside you, with my family enjoying what you have to offer us.”

“Where are they then?”

“Somewhere outside.”

“I’ll get ‘em. Stay here.” She pressed a kiss to his exposed chest, licking over his nipple and reveling in the gasp he made. 

She had to force herself to slow down and not burst out of the church in a dramatic style while throwing open both doors and tossing on some shades. Instead, her arms were behind her back as she struggled to keep a smirk off her face, harboring such a secret made her want to spill, especially when everyone else wanted a piece of the Seeds. 

Walking with a sway in her hips and tossing kind glances at everyone was enough to have John coming over to her, holding out an arm to link around hers. A kiss was placed on her cheek, in full view of everyone, including Jacob who simply rose an eyebrow from across the yard. 

“We need you inside the church.”

“You and Joseph? Is something wrong? Something with the resistance, do we need to leave?” She could see the wheels spinning around in his head. He had already came up with three different escape plans to help her get away safely. 

“Shush Johnny,” A nickname she soon learned made his cheeks turn pink, “It’s nothing like that. Go inside the church, let me grab Jacob. I’m sure Joseph will explain everything.” With a chaste kiss to his forehead he stumbled over in a daze to find Joseph. 

Jacob was much easier to retrieve. A tug on his arm and he followed her. No questions asked, his deputy needed him so he was there at her heels. 

—

Fucking in a church was one of the more interesting things she could check off her bucket list. 

The doors were barricaded, there was no way to lock it and Jacob jammed a piece of wood through the handles. Shrugging off Joseph’s questions of where that wood came from, they all knew he probably broke something that he’d pay for later. 

That wasn’t his concern, he distracted Joseph’s worries with walking up behind the deputy and stripping her of her clothes. It made John draw closer and Joseph just held his breath. Words dying on his tongue. 

She arched her back into Jacob’s touch as he ran his hands down the curves of her body. He cupped her breasts, running his thumbs over her nipples through the fabric.

John had stripped down, cock heavy between his legs and stroking languidly. He wasn’t much of a voyeur, but being around the deputy made a lot of things changed. 

Joseph was at her front. Peppering her face with kisses as Jacob worked on undressing her. Once she was naked she was led on the ground. 

This time around John was the one who positioned himself below her, her pussy folds were licked without mercy by his skillful tongue. Always avoiding where she wanted him. Her head was tipped down, eyes closed as she rocked down on his face. 

Joseph grabbed her chin, lifting her head to come face to face with his cock. Her lips wrapped around his head, strokes from her tongue making small praises fall from his lips. She went deeper, constantly whimpering as John worked her over nicely. Still not granting her release. That didn’t mean she had to deny Joseph.

His cock throbbed in her mouth. Nudging the back of her throat and causing her to gag. The sudden pressure on his nerves had him finish with a choked groan and a mumble of her name. He gave a few shallow thrusts so she could milk him for all he had until he was shuddering from the sensitivity as her tongue dipped into his slit. 

He stumbled away. A loose grin on his face as he motioned his brother to take his place. 

The deputy was clenching her hands in John’s hair. Urging him closer to her cunt. A finger was pushed in her heat. “Can’t cum, not yet. I want Jacob to feel you around him when that happens. He’s been going through a lot lately, think you can do that for him?” Jacob held her under her armpits to lift her up on shaky legs. “Follow our lead pup.” With full trust in these men she let herself be guided so she could be faced with John’s cock and his mouth was at her pussy. 

She gasped, nails digging into his bare legs as he finally passed over her swollen clit. His cock bumped into her cheek, smearing cum over her face before ghosting over her lips. 

Her body was trembling when she popped his flesh in her mouth. Going faster and making a way more sloppy mess than she did with Joseph. Her head bobbed up and down, hand cradling his balls and causing him to moan. 

A curse fell from her lips when she felt Jacob’s lubed finger prod at her ass. He palmed both cheeks before fully slipping one digit in. She wasn’t about to question why the man had lube while at church, not when he was working her over with skilled hands. 

The blunt pressure of Jacob cock made her whimper, so much larger than his fingers. He slipped in with one hard thrust, bruising grip on her hips that made her jerk forward and caused John to whine in frustration. 

She was pounded into with her building release coming faster with John now pumping three fingers into her cunt. She was dripping her juices down his chin, coating his face in a shiny slick. It made obscene noises. 

The deputy once again focused on his cock, moving faster and taking him down until her nose brushed the hair surrounding his erection. She gagged and coughed. Let drool slip out of the corners of her mouth until he came undone, spurting cum in her throat. 

She moved out, pulled him out and rested her head near his cock on his legs, rubbing at the sensitive tip with her thumb until John swatted at her thigh. 

Jacob moved faster, the skin slapping skin noise and the motions around her clit finished her off, left her sore and crying out when Jacob filled her up. She flopped off on the side, rolling on the wooden floor and looked up to see Joseph looming over her, crouching down to pick her up and croon softly at how she shuddered. 

That’s how they slept. Curled up on the wooden stage in each others arms and praying that no one heard them. 

—-

“Jacob!” The wood creaked underneath her weight as she stood. He paused, turning to grab her around the waist and pulled her to his chest. Instinctively her legs wrapped around his naked torso. “Am I not gonna distract you?”

“Hate to say it pup, but I’m not 20 anymore. We’ve got time to talk first. So go on,” he guided her so they could sit down on one of the pews, she straddled him. “You did want to talk right?”

“Mhm. The resistance, you plan on finishing them off?”

“Yep. The Militia went downhill with Eli gone, then you. They lost steam. Be glad you’re on our side now, you wouldn’t want to be them right now. And the resistance is running around like a chicken with its head cut off without their favorite deputy. Made me realize how little they appreciate you. They took you for granted pup.” He kissed behind her ear. “Why’re you interested? We’ll keep you safe y’know.”

“I want to fight.”

“No.”

“Jake—“

“Out of the question.”

“I’m strong enough.”

“Not gonna happen.” His hands had tightened on her waist, as if she was about to hop up and run at that moment. “You went behind their back, you walk into that battle field and they’ll kill you.”

“You don’t know my friends.”

“I’ve lived around them, managed their bullshit for years. I know them and they’ll be mad.”

She huffed and pulled away from him, dying a little inside when his arms went to cross over his chest instead of help her. 

“I don’t want you to die dep. You’re so good for us.” 

John and Joseph were lying on the hard wood, A space in between where she should lay in their arms. She squirmed to move there, watching Jacob leave the church to keep watch. 

One last time she’d see her friends. To at least explain to them what she was doing and why. They deserved that before Eden’s Gate ripped them to shreds. Clothes that had been discarded on the floor were now tossed on. Tender kisses were given to both men on their lips. John stirred, hands rushing to grab at the warmth his sleeping body had found. Joseph only hummed in contentment. She’d be back. It’s just for a few hours, there was no reason to feel as bad as she did. 

—-

“Grace? It’s me, I need to talk to all of you. I know you’re all mad, but if you’re willing to hear me out then I need you to meet me at the 8-bit pizza bar in an hour.” 

There was no response. She didn’t expect her to. Not after she completely went silent for almost a week. She hadn’t done anything to help their cause, hadn’t saved any civilians. It made everyone question where her loyalties lied. Twenty minutes. That’s all it would take to explain it to them, then she’d be driving home. To the Seeds.

She drove dangerously fast up to the Whitetail Mountains. Ignoring the honks of cars that were angry with how she whipped around corners and almost slammed into them. She was already working against the clock. Only a matter of time before they noticed her absence and got worried. Would they care or jump to conclusions? Were they at that point of their relationship? God she hoped not. She didn’t need them showing up. 

When she reached the bar she saw three cars. It made her laugh bitterly, of course not all of them would show. She didn’t blame them. It’s fine, she could tell three people, let them spread the message. 

Opening the door she found Grace, Jess and Nick. They were sitting down, head pivoting when the floorboards creaked underneath her. Her hand raised in that awkward tiny wave you give when you’re standing too close to warrant such a thing. 

“Hey.” 

Nick was the only one to respond, he looked distraught. Face drawn and disappointment in his eyes. 

Jess and Grace stood, guarded expressions making her uncomfortable. “You wanna talk dep,” Jess’ voice was hostile, “Go on.”

“I want to say sorry.”

“Sorry!” Jess darted forward, would’ve probably knocked her out cold if not for Grace who held her back and mumbled something in her ear. “You’ve been hanging around the Seeds. We ain’t stupid! You’re with Eden’s Gate then?”

“I-yes.” She came here to tell the truth, to explain everything, including her absence. This would be the last chance she had to tell them before Joseph moved in a killed them all, or locked them up and forced them to join. 

Jess scoffed, pacing back and forth. 

Nick jumped up, “C’mon Deputy.” He threw his arms wide in disbelief. An action that reminded her of John. She just wanted to go home, be coddled. He was an affectionate man. The thought made a smile appear.

“The fuck are you smiling for?” Jess cried. “No wonder you didn’t kill them when you finally had the chance.” 

Grace was the one keeping calm, stalking towards her and placing a hand on her shoulder. “What are they promising you? Or are they forcing you Deputy? You can tell us.” 

“Have they drugged you?” Nick mumbled. Fiddling with his hat, eyes downcast. 

“No. They haven’t done anything.”

“So,” Jess’ teeth were clenched, “This was a conscience decision.” 

The deputy nodded. “Pretty much yeah.” Nick cursed and Grace sighed, hand coming to rest on the nape of her neck. 

“I’m sorry dep. I wish you didn’t say that.” Grace whispered it softly, sounding so mournful that Rook didn’t recognize the sudden shift in the mood or how her friends were moving into position. 

A sharp jab in her neck had her stumbling back only to be met with Nicks arms wrapping around her to stop her from running. Jess jogged outside, keys in hand. Her airway got tight. Vision blurry. 

They drugged her. Her friends were kidnapping her. She laughed lowly. At least they wouldn’t hurt her. 

—-

The deputy was still unconscious by the time they got her to a hidden underground bunker they had found a week before. 

She was tied up to a chair with a mixture a ropes, zip ties and bungee cords. The things that kept her bound was already biting into her skin and leaving marks. 

Her head slumped to the side. Unaware to the camera being set up in front of her. Wheaty was good at computers, he was ready to override all radio stations and TVs. Take over the videos the Seeds had put all over and make the attention solely focus on the deputy. It was an example. It was payback, revenge after what the Seeds did to everyone's family. It was evident that they liked her, keeping her as close as they did. They took people from everyone in Hope County. It was giving them a taste of their own medicine. 

When the camera’s red light lit up to signify they were live, a masked figure came into view. Non identifiable clothing, they didn’t need to be singled out, and the deputy didn’t need to know who was doing this to her. 

A cold bucket of water doused her, causing her to jerk in her restraints. She blinked rapidly, finally waking up, coming to her senses. Her eyes landed on the camera propped on the tripod about 5 feet away. She gazed into the blacked lens before she took into account the person who stood beside her with a knife. 

He, or she, the clothes made it too difficult to tell, was stalking closer, knife to her neck. “This, this one's for you John.” Slices and cuts opened the loose fabric that covered her body and marred her skin. Blood pooled down on the ground, coating the cement below. Her face was slashed, all shallow, they weren’t about to kill her. Whoever this was wanted her to feel pain. 

Her face was grabbed roughly to stare into the camera. “You ain’t crying yet huh? That sounds a helluva lot like pride.” The person laughed, drawing away. “And pride’s a sin.” Two quick stabs hit her in the left thigh. She was gonna bleed out. That’s when tears fell. Blurring the world around her as she got woozy. 

“Jacob, you like fucking with people’s mind right?” He/she placed headphones over her ears, it made her squirm. “You lock them up, starve them and watch them break.” From the headphones played white noise, a sound that, over time, would destroy her. It’s how the human brain worked. The cords were tightened when she struggled some more. It wasn’t fair. How she was getting punished for the actions of the Seeds. But if it meant that the brothers didn’t have to endure this than by all means, she would. 

“Fuck you.” She couldn’t hear herself over the headphones. A swift punch was given to her gut. 

“Joseph, god you’ve done so much. You’re the ringleader. Made your men kill dozens of our people.” 

The headphones were ripped off and was replaced with a gun. It clicked, echoing in the tiny space. A revolver, cool metal on the side of her head. 

“We regret to inform you, Eden’s Gate, that today won’t be the first time that we take from you like you’ve taken from us. This time we’ll be merciful and we will spare those who care about the deputy the horror of watching her brain splatter over the walls and floor. Good night.” 

The camera shut off. 

—-

John wasn’t one to keep his composure, that wasn’t new to anyone. This wasn’t anger he was feeling though, an emotion that his men expected and knew how to handle. This was an unbearable sadness. The Baptist stood with tears running down his face and a dirty rag mangled in his grasp. He was in the middle of cleaning Affirmation when the broadcast went out. He wanted to plan a day for him and her to go flying. Maybe look at the ‘Yes’ sign and fly over the beautiful rivers that populated the area. Go to a secluded lookout tower and watch the sun set. He planned it. Thursday, January 11th at 4pm. His men knew and were prepared to look over everything in his absence. That wouldn’t be happening. 

The breath left him, he couldn’t imagine her gone. Dead. Slumped over in a dirty room sitting in a metal chair that looked like it was ready to collapse. Not the kind of end she deserved. She was supposed to grow old with him and his brothers after the end had come and the world was cleansed by fire. She was supposed to have their kids, be their Eve. A mother to all, she had that air about her. She was a lovely woman. Not anymore. Now she was nothing but a corpse and that thought made a cry rack through his throat.

Joseph promised him. Told him of his visions that the deputy was the one. Joseph spoke of grand things that stopped John’s heart. Finally after all he went through God was sending and angel specially fitted to him. 

He didn’t care he was crying in front of his people. He flock was kind and understanding, they tried to comfort him, place hands on his shoulders with soft words. 

He bit his lip too hard, it made blood trickle down his face. 

A slew of screams came from his lips, he stormed away from the tv they kept outside on a collection of old boxes. Something the deputy teased him about. He could hear her light lilting voice.

“And with all that wealth you can’t afford a table. Spent it all on planes I bet.” The last part mumbled under her breath, finger tapping her jaw in a mock thinking pose. 

Never again would she taunt his way of life that were so strange to her. 

He stumbled, feet catching on the stupid bear rug Jacob got him. John passed the table where he left his voice messaging machine. He picked the cheap phone up and tossed it across the room. It knocked down a painting she said she liked. Stupid Joseph, a fucking liar. He let love in and it wounded him. 

Never again would she have a chance to learn a new side of him that he kept from so many people. 

His shoes were kicked off, one rolling under her bed, the other near his dresser. The way he clawed off his vest reminded him of how he tore open her shirt to mark her with wrath. 

Never again would he hold her at night, bury his nose in her hair and smell that shampoo that she used that he hoped would one day change to the scent of the expensive brand that he insisted on buying.

The bed welcomed the weight he tossed onto it. The headboard slammed against the wall. It went unsaid that no one should disturb him. Little did he know calls were being made to his brothers to let them know how hard he was taking it. 

Never.

Never.

Too many Nevers in his life. 

No wedding 

No wife 

No normal days ahead. 

It was all painted black. Ruined. Life was ruined. Confessions, baptisms, atonements, they’d be tougher on everyone. He’d tell the story of his parents, the power of yes. Then he’d move on to this day when the little that remained of his heart had shattered and turned to ice. 

—-

Jacob had went out searching the moment he knew she was gone. She confided in her, let him know what she wanted to do and he hadn’t put her under lock and key. His hair was ruined from where he tugged at it from stress. Guilt pushed him down, she would’ve been mad at him if he kept her away from it all, but at least she’d be alive. If his brothers knew that they’d never forgive him. He killed her. He was the protector, he’s done it all his life for Joseph and John, so why didn’t he do it for the deputy?

He was sitting on the forest floor, two miles away from where the resistance was. He could call the attack now. They wouldn’t expect that, bring them to their knees, let John take his anger out on these people. Jacob wouldn’t mind. He would hold Joseph back if he protested. 

He sat there with a portable tv in his hand. His men were working right now to trace that signal. It had gone dead, the image black. It should be enough for his men to find. For Jacob to send them in to make them pay, get the deputy’s dead body. At least give everyone some closure and a something to bury. 

A blunt dangled in his fingertips, something he hasn’t done since John quit years ago. It was enough to calm his mind, remind him not to rush into things. That wasn’t who he was. He was calculated and smart. He’d be smart when he killed them all and stormed them. Make them pay for causing his family to suffer. 

God, his pup. A nickname that came naturally when he saw her. Something that was meant to belittle her that turned into a pet name that she adored, no matter how many times she denied it. 

Hard to believe she wouldn’t be walking out of this one again. That she wasn’t going to be rescued. She survived so much and now she died by the hands of those she defended. Fucking Joan of Arc story. He snorted in disgust. Fuck the world, always bringing him down. This would be a setback in Eden’s Gate. It’d destroy the mental state of Joseph and John. And he’d be the one to stay strong, a rock for his siblings. That was his job. 

His head tipped forward, taking one last hit before flicking it off into the woods. All he could see was how she laid in his bed with his tags around her neck and his jacket covering her beautiful body. 

It was too much. The sudden flow of emotions that hit him in the chest. He needed time to grieve, to be alone for now. One word and the attack would begin, he’d take them down when they least expected it. 

She wouldn’t have wanted it.

“Pup. Honey, what would you want? Justice, maybe peace. Tell me something sweetheart. I’m so lost.” 

He didn't cry when he faced his father's abuse. 

He didn’t cry when he went into war and got burned. 

He didn’t cry. Bottom line. 

So why was he blubbering like a baby?

—-

Joseph was the first to hear about the radio broadcast. He isolated himself from his flock in his church, he sat behind the podium at the front, back pressed painfully in the wood and staring intently at the old tv he had dragged in dated from the 90s. 

In the blackened screen he could see his reflection. A broken man with tears long since dry. He had cried through the whole thing, unsure of her fate. He cried that she had to go through that and the recovery process she’d have to face, his tears flowed for how little he could do to help. By the time the gun was pointed at her skull his ducts were dry and his nose was clogged. A tissue was gripped in his left hand, the rosary wrapped around his right. 

There was an ache in his head, jamming behind his eyes, which were now exposed from where they were usually hidden with his aviators. 

He didn’t want his flock to see this moment of weakness, he needed to be the one to guide them when he walked out of his church, he was supposed to be their leader. So he kept himself locked inside for now, he wasn’t composed enough. Bubbling with wrath that wouldn’t help anyone. 

The deputy was warm in his arms a few hours before. He didn’t think too much of it when he woke and she wasn’t there. He was the one to calm down John, tell him that she was so used to being alone, she wasn’t used to the affection all three of them were giving her. Joseph told his baby brother that she was fine and she’d turn up later with some phone call or randomly show up like she made a habit of doing. 

The woman needs her alone time. Who was he to stop her? That would make her hate them if he controlled each aspect of her life. So he kept busy working, planning things out with taking out the resistance, reveling in how it’d be to have Hope County back in his power. Everything would be calm and he’d have that family life that he always wanted. It was stolen from him once. Years ago when God took away his wife and daughter and presented him with this wonderful deputy that walked into his world and took over his thoughts. 

She was finally his. He waited patiently and she was his. In his grasp.

A sound of anguish came out of him as he held his head in his hands. He fisted his hair out of its bun, rough fingers ran over his head. So unlike how the deputy would undo it was gentle hands and scratch his hair. 

The Lord took his girl away. Again. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. When was the last time the Lord had given him a break from all this abysmal crap that plagued him? 

He slammed his head against the wood behind him. The pain was secondary to the one in his heart.


End file.
